Can't Keep Up

It has been 2 months since I've moved to Bandung in order to continue my studies. I've cried a lot in these past 2 months. When I first came here, the reason I cried at first was because I missed my friends. I was disappointed by myself because I didn't spend much time w/ my friends. I mostly spent my time for studying. But then because every weekend I come home and meet my friends that disappointment fade away. Then came another problem. I felt so hard for leaving Jakarta. I thought at first that it was because I didn't want to leave my friends and my family. But now it just hit me and made me realize that my brain seems can't keep up with the studies. That other people around me are so frigging smart and made me think that I am the stupidest person in there. It is just that hard. I hate this feeling for giving up this early. But this is my dream. And I know that God would not even consider to put myself in the situation that I couldn't handle. That God wouldn't make me pass SNMPTN if I didn't have the brain and the spirit to get through this studies. But it is hard. It is that hard that I'm crying rite now. I just couldn't hold the tears anymore..

Continue

It's at around 9:33 PM. I shoud've studied right now. But I have no energy or the so called 'kesadaran diri'. I have lots of things going around in my head. And I want to write it all in here. But I am just too lazy lol. Anyway, I have a new tumblr, called BONFIRE -yes, it has the same name like in here. Well, the tumblr is for the runways photos, red carpets photos etc.. I am not going to abounding this blogspot. However, I won't be posting in here as much as I used to be. Some really personal stuffs I'll posted in here. Rrrrr, my english keeps lacking 2% everyday -and I hate to admit it. Bye people. See you soon. But not that soon enough.

God has answered my prayer

without any further introduction. Thank you God for answering my prayer. Thank you so much and I know words can not describe what I am feeling right now. Thank you God once again.

Hey!

Well, hello there! It's been such a long long time for me to not blogging. It's kinda weird. I have been so busy with university and stuff. Ya know.. UMB, USM 2 and last but not least SNMPTN. I've been work my asses out to do my best in university entrance-exam. And I've been churching. Getting closer to God and my family -esp. my mom. My friends all have such a fun things to do in this very-long-long-holiday, well I was studyin all day and nite. And I am not regret it. "Need to give up something in return." And the reason why I am back to blogging is I will be taking TOEFL on July 10th, so from now on I need to practice my writing skill -since I am lackin in speaking. So yeah I am back. Oh hmmm, I think the I dressed up is lacking 2% each day. I mostly dressed up very boredly these past months -and me blamming BTA for that. These past months all I wear was jeans and t-shirt. nothing else. -_____-

Without U

hmmm I am so down rite, honestly speaking. I'm feeling really hopeless rite now. I'm not being emo in here -making it clear. I'm just trying to see the reality that really hit me. Trying to see what I've done wrong. Trying to see whether or not I am smart. This is really the down time for me. I am not done with hoping. I am not done with asking and begging to God. And I am really listening to 2PM - Without U. Seriously, I am listening to Nichkhun's part rapping that 'Everything happens for a reason' and I am believing in it. There must be a reason behind it. And I really trust in God that He must have prepared something for me. That I really need to work my ass off and ofcourse spend my time with my friends.

wishing

All I want is to go to the chapel. And thanking god fr all that he has given me.

John Galliano F/W 2010

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